Straight from the Source's Mouth: Frank Talk about Sex and Dating
Are you perpetually single? Do you want longer-lasting relationships? Tired of the miscommunication and misunderstandings? Wish you were better in bed? Advice from experts as well as real talk from real people so that you can see you are not alone in your thoughts and experiences. I talk about sex in my stand-up comedy and people often tell me that I say what they are thinking but are too afraid to say or admit it to their partners; too taboo they think. We'll talk about books we've read on dating, relationships and sex so that you can gain knowledge without having to read all the books yourself. I'll interview people on both sides of an issue: people who are great at dating and unsuccessful at dating...learn from the person who's great and also learn what not to do! We'll do the same with sex and relationships so that you can learn what works so you don't need to repeat others' past mistakes. I'll interview sex coaches and love coaches. We intend this to be a how-to guide. Hit follow and join us!
Straight from the Source's Mouth: Frank Talk about Sex and Dating
#95 Your Relationship Patterns Are Not Your Destiny! with Bern Mendez
Ever wonder why incredibly smart, successful women keep falling for partners who are emotionally unavailable? This deep dive with relationship coach Bern Mendez uncovers the hidden patterns that trap intelligent women in unsatisfying relationships and offers practical ways to break free from these cycles once and for all.
Bern shares his journey from overcoming personal depression to helping hundreds of women transform their love lives through understanding both the neurochemistry of attraction and the emotional patterns established in childhood. He explains how our nervous systems can become addicted to the pursuit-withdrawal dynamics of unavailable partners, creating a biochemical response that feels intense but ultimately leads to heartbreak.
The conversation challenges popular beliefs about healing through relationships, with Bern advocating that "there's something powerful to be done about healing the best you can without the need to connect with human beings who push all your buttons." Instead of seeking partners who remind you of difficult parents, he suggests focusing on creating safety and genuine connection with those who align with your actual relationship goals.
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Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth podcast. Frank talk about sex and dating.
Speaker 2:Hello, tamara here, welcome to the show. Today's guest is Bern Mendes, a dating and relationship coach, and we'll be talking about how he spent the past 14 years helping smart, successful women stop choosing emotionally unavailable men and finally create deeply satisfying, sexy, secure relationships. Thanks for joining me, bern. Oh, thank you so much for having me here, excited to be here. Yes, it's a great topic and I know lots of smart, successful women that actually picked pretty bad people, so it's very relevant and I know it's definitely true, as you've experienced yourself. So what got you into helping women?
Speaker 1:Well, it really started by helping humans and then it translated into helping women. I was, at an early age, someone who experienced depression in my life and after finding a solution that was maybe non-traditional, I got really excited into helping others to figure out ways to solve problems, maybe in a non-traditional way, and from there it developed into a passion and from that there it developed into a YouTube channel and it just so happened that the majority of people who listened to the stuff I was sharing were women, and I started lots of conversations and I started applying the skills that I have for life into the relationship arena and I found it was really needed. Number one and two very fulfilling for me. So it kind of started organically, and then I found more and more ways to be more specific about how to help women experience this result.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can see how that would work. Especially, I mean, helping people helps you feel better. So bottom line Do you want to talk about the non-traditional stuff you figured out or just leave it more towards what you're doing now?
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, we can talk about both. I think that, because there's a full circle experience, I guess, uh, part of it has to do with understanding how I'm going to go as meta as I can on this the language that we have to communicate to ourselves dictates the quality of our life. That's one, and the other has to do with a super broad term would be the emotional states that we embody at any moment in time, because I mean, there's lots of people and I'm sure you know who are really intelligent but don't get themselves to do those intelligent things in ways that are sustainable, because they may be really upset all the time, or most of the time, or they're very dysregulated. So part of this whole thing came to how do we get ourselves to be in a space, emotionally and physiologically, where we can tap into more of our resources, and so that's kind of how it started. And then full circle now. At that moment I was more averse to anything that had to do with therapy, but I found out, lo and behold, that it's incredibly helpful and useful and needed in this day and age. So my focus over the last few years has been really to get myself into a space where I can understand how the brain works and how trauma works, so that I can help people, not as a therapist because I'm not a therapist but in an informed way where human beings can make decisions and changes that would have taken a lot longer, uh, much more powerfully.
Speaker 1:I think there's something powerful to be said about when you understand that it's not something flawed inside of you, but there's a pattern that you're repeating and you can shift the pattern, then and it's a removes shame from the whole thing but also creates an opportunity to do something really practical. You know, it's like kind of like playing chess If you don't understand that the chess has rules and that there's certain moves for opening and for mid game and for end game, then you just lose all the time. But when you turn the lights on and then you start understanding the theory of chess and you start making better moves, you understand patterns, then you can start winning. And that's kind of like what I like to offer people an opportunity to remove the shame from not having the relationship that they want because nobody's taught them how to do it, and give them some practical skills that allow them to experience a new result. And when you experience a new result. I think it's easier to keep the momentum and say, okay, well, now maybe what else is possible?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's awesome. How do you work with especially the smart, successful men that choosing bad people?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean. Well, there's lots of ways to work with someone in that situation. I guess the first part is helping them understand why it is that they're making those choices. I think there's a lot of people look badly upon. Maybe I don't know again, I'm not sure if you've had any friend that is a super smart woman, very beautiful by all standards and she just happens to go for bad boys to give you a broad term or for someone who's really unavailable or someone who is highly avoidant.
Speaker 1:And I think the first part is helping them understand first of all what's happening. You know, I think there's a dynamic inside any type of those connections that is very it hijacks your nervous system because it creates a bit of an addiction. You know, when you want something and you can't fully have it, there's a part inside of you that wants it more, and the more you go for it, the more the person typically tends to maybe avoid that situation. It's like a bad thing. I don't know if you've ever heard like a microphone and speakers interacting with each other and the louder the microphone, the speakers, the worse the microphone gets. So that's the kind of loop where if you help someone understand what's really taking space without any. You're doing it wrong, but here's what's really happening. And then help them find out okay, what is it that you really want long-term? And then you have a discrepancy, right, here's what I'm doing and here's what I want.
Speaker 1:So sometimes the first step is helping someone understand their blind spots. Blind spots in terms of two things. Number one what's really happening. Because people we love to tell ourselves stories. I mean, you can hear people who really go deep onto many different subjects, but when it comes to relationships, a chip maybe flares up and you give people 30,000 chances that you wouldn't in any in business, you wouldn't do that. But you just start coming up with excuses because you want something, you crave something, whether it's emotional connection or sexual connection, or there's neurochemicals taking place that really feel good. You start craving that. So the first blind spot is what's happening, craving that consideration. So so the first blank spot is what's happening.
Speaker 1:The second one is what's happening inside of you, so that through understanding when triggers take place and regulating differently, you can start making new choices that perhaps before were impossible to make.
Speaker 1:So there's a lot of that going on, but also there's helping someone have new experiences that feel safe and, in a way gets a chance to rewire the experience you know, because if all you've learned maybe you grew up in a house that was very where nobody spoke truth, or maybe you grew up in a home where human beings were very dismissive, and that's the set point you have for love. And then you connect with someone and I see lots of women doing this. I mean men do this too, but since I work with women, that's the most vivid example that I have. They connect with someone and the guy is a very strong reminder of their dad or their mom, and they're not aware of it, but they just there's something so magical about him Like no, there isn't. He reminds you of your dad. And when you get a chance to understand that and fully feel it and start figuring out how you can create deeper connections with other people, then things start shifting for the better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and do you think it's best to find someone like your dad and heal it?
Speaker 1:Or do you avoid people that remind you of the person that's kind of causing the triggers and trauma? Something powerful to be done about healing the best you can without the need to connect with human beings who really push all your buttons? And because people will still. I mean, you'll still get that experience, you'll still get triggered, but there's no need to connect with someone who's reminding you of your worthlessness on a daily basis to overcome it. I think you can. Life is hard enough to do without it. So I think it's better for people to take a little bit of a step back and choose what it is that they want.
Speaker 1:I tell all my clients one of the things that we human beings do a lot is we hope for someone to fall head over heels in love with us, and we're not necessarily kind of even in love with our own lives. So, taking a step back and falling in love with our lives it doesn't have to be perfect. You don't have to be fully healed I don't think anyone fully ever gets there but there's something to be said about being in a space where you can recognize your own stuff, where you can see the truth in other human beings and when presented with strong evidence, you know, about who somebody is having the courage and the emotional fortitude to say thanks but no thanks. You know there's a beautiful poem. I think Wayne Dyer used to read it and I mean I won't go the whole thing.
Speaker 1:But the first one is you fall into a hole. You don't even realize it. Second stage is you fall into a hole and you but now you realize that you're falling into the hole. I mean you get to the end where you go through a different street. You don't have to go through the same street as a hole. So I think that's everybody's life. I mean we make lots of mistakes and relationships are the space where we get a chance to really see what's happening inside. Because if you really want to put yourself in a situation where all your skills will be necessary yourself in a situation where all your skills will be necessary that's an intimate romantic relationship. All your fears, all your insecurities, all your triggers will flourish and you get a chance to work on it. So in a healthy relationship that will happen. That's why I'm saying there's no need to add extra backpacks climbing Everest to ensure you're a good climber.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I've experienced both sides, like the bad ones, toxic, and then the good. So yeah, definitely helpful and you can have the same kind of arguments but you actually resolve them and work together and like get better after, instead of just having a toxic loop of yelling at each other constantly and not hearing each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah, something powerful about having someone who your life is better because of them, not despite them. You know, and I think a lot of people in relationships that feel very intense which is something we're craving but they are not helping. I mean, it's a negative equation when I my clients sometimes will say something like, hey, but he's strong and he's intelligent and look at it, Okay, so that's the positive right. And I basically, when I hear all the stuff that she's going through as a result of the actions which are not healthy in the relationship, I say what's plus five minus 10? Oh, minus five, Okay. Well, it's a negative equation. Yeah, this guy has lots of great things, but the things he removes from your life are stronger than the positive ones, at least in my assessment. So it's worth noticing Negative equations are not good in relationships.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and when you say it sounds like you said earlier people just ignore the red flags. Is there a way to like avoid certain things, or is it individual?
Speaker 1:I think that there's ways to diminish the risk of falling for red flags. For example, if you take longer to get to know someone, the likelihood that you'll be objective will be greater than if you rush into a relationship really early on. I'm a big proponent of not having an exclusive relationship with someone until you really fully know them. A friendship has really started developing, you understand each other's values, you've had this agreement and have been able to resolve it in some way. So when you have more data, emotionally and logistically, then it doesn't mean that you won't fall for the red flag, but it means that you're more objective. Another thing that helps people to fall less for red flags is radically slowing down the degree of physical connection with someone and sexual connection. Again, the biochemistry and this is documented by lots of really good scientists that takes place when people have a deep physical connection or sexual connection. It's really it's. It changes the way you operate, the way you view, the way you view things, the way you evaluate life. So what happens when you connect with someone who seems really exciting, really fun, really charismatic, tells you the things you want to hear, and then you have sex really early on, and then you start falling for the person, not for the qualities of that human being, but for the neurochemicals in your system that are telling you go for more of this, the neurochemicals in your system that are telling you go for more of this. I think if you slow those things down, then also there's a chance to see the red flags more powerfully. And I think one more.
Speaker 1:I would say one third thing you can do is and I ask my clients to do this keep a journal when you connect with someone and you go on a date, when it's still fresh, you go back home or in your car, start thinking about this, write a paragraph or two in terms of what you noticed, how you felt, things that went great, things that didn't go great, not to just put the person on the microscope, but for you to recognize more in real time. Hey, there was this joke that was not really funny, it was kind of intense. And now that I take the time, I felt disrespected or I felt sad or I felt angry, whatever it is. And then, when you have that data, then what happens? If you choose to have a next date with that person, you can bring it up in a healthy way.
Speaker 1:Say, hey, the other day, when this is what I remember about what happened and here's how I felt and here's what I want. Then the person can either be great about it and improve, or can push it back on you, or can try to gaslight you and say that you imagine the whole thing and you have it written down. So you didn't imagine it, you know. So if you do those three things, they sound simple but they can radically shift the viewpoint of falling for someone with tons of red flags or maybe not tons, but maybe some, some red flags that are significant in nature, to make sure that relationship is, uh, really painful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. And you, you mentioned also um about sometimes women. We find the the nice guys are boring.
Speaker 1:Well, here's the thing. Uh, I I've never a proponent of women or men connecting with someone that they don't feel chemistry for once they get to know them. I am a proponent of not seeking that thrill from the first moment. And we live in a society that, through no fault of our own, instant gratification society. And if you remember the first, I mean you're around my age, I think I'm 49. So I think I mean I've heard you talk in an episode, I mean you're close to my age and I think one of the things that we've heard and seen is, I mean, think about Cinderella and think about Snow White, think about any type love at first sight. Heart bursts open. You go tell your mom I met the guy I'm going to marry. Do you know him? No, but I just know it in my heart.
Speaker 1:That type of experience is really deep down in our psyche. So when you connect with someone and there's no fireworks, a lot of people say well, not my type, or oh, this is boring, or this is not going to be fun enough, or there's no chemistry. And I'm a proponent of getting a chance to get someone, get to know someone for deeper, a little longer, at least three dates if there's no red flags and then make a decision. If you're not feeling stronger about the person, if you're feeling no more chemistry, then choose to not see them. But if you feel a little bit more, then there's like a flame of a candle that can last long versus the firecracker that explodes and doesn't last. That's part of it. Now there are human beings who are more on the category of boring, and I agree with that. Also, there's people who are not boring. They have a safety mechanism that doesn't resonate with the failure-seeking or with the experience you have, as we talked earlier, at the set point of disruptive, you know, call home. So when you connect with someone like that, if you haven't fully evaluated that, then it's not that the person is boring is that you're not necessarily getting the rejection you were getting, that you're used to. That feels like home. So you're like, well, this is not. I mean, there's no drama here Like, what's the point here? You know, and obviously this is not something that's logical no one thinks this guy's not dramatic, so it's boring. Just think that he's boring. So that's why slowing down in the process of dating really matters, not just for not falling for your flags, but also to give people a chance. So that's part of what you can do.
Speaker 1:Another thing you can do is since you have nothing to lose. I mean, typically I hear from women who have a really easy time being their full selves with someone they're not super attracted to. But when the guy that they deem really, they put him on a pedestal and they don't share the truth and they almost like want they really want to be liked by him. So, since you already have nothing to lose right now, because you're probably not feeling super triggered or lack of confidence by this man, then be more vulnerable, be slightly more vulnerable, express a bit more of who you are, ask deeper questions, open ended questions that maybe put more of you on the line, and when there's more vulnerability, maybe something happens that that activates a part of that person who is listening to you in ways that you haven't been listened to before or share something that strikes you as profound and meaningful.
Speaker 1:So I've had clients who met someone and the first date or two dates were like I don't know about him and I said, come on, give me one, one more, and they ended up getting married and have very fulfilling lives and they, they share with me.
Speaker 1:I mean, I had someone who wrote a message to me the other day who married an amazing guy. They've been together for three years. He shows at 49 or 48 to have a child because they're happy being parents. And the thing she wrote in that email she sent me is like I keep hearing your voice in my mind because this is a guy I would have never in a million years gone for had we not worked together. Because everything about me told me, eh, he's not your type. And then I gave him a chance and another chance, and another chance and they fell in love really deeply. There's something powerful about taking longer to connect with someone and really get to know them, with less of that intense fireworks experience at the beginning. And, having said that, it's important to have passion for the person that you're with.
Speaker 2:It's just not A the most important thing and B not the thing that needs to happen as early as we all want it to be. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, I've talked I mean, obviously I interview people for in this kind of stuff so I've heard that before too like just really, really wait and I wasn't so good at waiting before, but now I fully believe that that's good, yeah. And then, speaking of like not waiting but then when you finally do, or wanting to get to that point you had mentioned like a script for sexy, honest communication, like what does that mean? That kind of gets you there, like when you're ready, when you've known each other long enough, or heading towards that, like when you're ready, when you've known each other long enough, or heading towards that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I would say, more than a script, it's a way of being compiled with honest expression that gets you into the type of connection that you want, and deepening the connection. Because here's the thing when two people connect, there's always going to be this idea, especially the more you get to know someone. I mean, I have it all figured out and I think the day that happens is the day the relationship starts dying. So being willing to ask a question that you've never asked before, it's incredible. I ask my clients, I mean, there's a couple of games that are really powerful. One is called the and T-H-E space A-N-D. The other one is the game by Esther Perel, where Shall we Begin? And this is something cool because you can get a pack of little cards and you don't have to play all of them, but just get a pack of little cards and you don't have to play all of them, but just get a pack of cards and you have a prompt, and the prompt might be three or four words, but those three or four words might change your life in terms of connecting with someone. Like, maybe the question will be last time I cried that I didn't want anyone to know that I was crying was and maybe it's five years ago and maybe something you haven't really remembered. Maybe it's something the person doesn't even know about you, but that prompt creates a 30 minute conversation, unscripted, that allows you both to experience each other. So I think that there's something really powerful about A asking questions that you normally don't ask, that allow the person to reveal more of who they are and you, as a listener, become much more in tune with who they are. There's a concept called attunement that has to do with you fully understanding and sensing yourself and then fine tuning through that process to the person in front of you. When that happens, it's the feeling of being fully seen and being fully experienced. So having moments whether you're in a dating process and getting to know someone where you say, okay, this is the time of the day where we're going to go a little bit off script and instead of just asking the regular boring questions everybody asks, let's go a little while and take a pack of cards, or you can just come up with your own questions that's okay too and then go a little deeper. Now, that little bit of depth could be the best thing that happened in the entire date. Now, if, obviously, if you're in a relationship with someone long-term and the idea is I've known this person for a long time and I know all there is to know about them, you'd be so surprised. I mean, they actually have a YouTube channel. That's powerful Skin Deep, I think, is the name of it.
Speaker 1:But you can witness conversations between maybe somebody who they split up and they haven't talked in three years, and they bring them together face to face, camera shown both faces and they they start asking each other questions and you can't avoid crying sometimes with the depth of stuff that's being shared. I saw one the other day and this is not in romantic relationships. There's a dad, basically, who has ALS I mean that, that Lou Gehrig's disease and talking to his son and basically the prompt was a cool prompt from the son basically said hey, if, if, uh, I lost my memory and you and I asked you to share with me something about the connection that we have. What is the first thing you would share with me? Again, pretty insightful question, powerful stuff came out. I was really chilling.
Speaker 1:So, uh, there's a poet, as my favorite poet, called David White, has a concept called beautiful questions. A beautiful question is a question that allows you to, full stop, evaluate life in a very different perspective. So, for me, this, this concept of uh, of connecting with somebody more deeply, is create your own script by having something that is not scripted, you know, something that allows genuine communication, where two human beings can feel each other, who can sense things that they haven't sensed in each other. Life is super short, you know, and I think, at the end of the day, there's going to be a few things that we take with us very few, but one of them is what we gave, what we received, and I think those moments, which seem so mundane, sometimes are the biggest thing, like the little details sometimes are everything in a connection or in a relationship with someone.
Speaker 1:So that's kind of like the concept behind this to be able to create your own script by having conversation that is different and nuanced and attuned and courageous. It takes a lot of courage to ask a question, because it's the whole thing of vulnerability, right. Courageous. It takes a lot of courage to ask a question because it's the whole thing of vulnerability, right. I mean, if you're going to ask a question that's challenging in a good way, then be prepared to share your own answer about the whole thing and be prepared for somebody to ask you a question you don't expect. But there's something so real and so alive about having a conversation that way that A gets you to know someone more deeply, but also it gets you to feel more alive as you're connecting with someone, and I think that's a good combination.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just talking about this with my partner, like I was saying how I need to have better questions or like just something more to talk about, because I feel like I just it's too much small talking. It's like, oh, we can have silence too, but I'm like, I'm with you.
Speaker 1:I want to have good, I want to have good questions. So here's something cool, for I mean, for anyone who's in a situation like yours, whether you're in a partner or getting to know someone there's a book it's an old book and it's not the end all be all, but it gives you a. I'm a big proponent of frameworks, because when you understand a framework, then you can change things and mix them and match them on your own. There's a book called Seven Levels of Intimacy and the book is cool because it gives you a framework. If you're having a conversation with someone and you're not feeling the depth like I'm imagining, that's kind of like there's a part of you that felt I want more, I want to feel his heart, I want him to know me better, and here we are talking about the weather nothing wrong with that but I want more.
Speaker 1:Then you start with cliches right, how are you? I'm having a great day, or something that's really mundane. Then you go up into. I think the next level would be something along the lines of facts hey, what did you do today? You know? And then you get to opinions, which is deeper than facts, and then you get to dreams, and then you get to fears and then you get to needs. There's so many cool things as you elevate. So when you understand, like if you ask the question, what level are we playing at right now? What of these seven levels are we playing at? Okay, we're level zero, right? Okay, cool, let me take you up a notch.
Speaker 1:And then you ask a question that has to do with the next level and then you start escalating from there in a good way and then it's not hard to go from. This is boring, or I've had too many of this to wow. This is a conversation I will not soon forget, so maybe that's a cool thing for anyone who's listening. I mean, get something like that, get one of these games. It's life-changing, you know, it's just a chance to, it's fun, it's playful and it gets because it's a game. Hey, I didn't ask you a tough question, the game did. Now, if you have a partner, some of those questions are sexual in nature as well, which is kind of cool. You can mix and match. And another level, you know, because most people don't really talk about sex, or they talk about sex, having sex, which is maybe the worst time to talk about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah. And I was going to say one other thing about asking questions. Sometimes people are afraid to ask a question they don't want the answer to, or they think it might be negative, so they're afraid to ask. But I mean, like you said, the card is a game. So it's like, like you said, the game asks you, not me. But people can hesitate to ask At least I've done that in the past where I'm like, just in case it's not the answer I want, I'm not going to ask you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but then there's something cool, because maybe you hear an answer that's deeper and better than what you imagine. And then what then? Then you get it. You got a chance to hear something that, uh, I think we have sometimes ideas about other people that create unnecessary fear, because at the end of the day, even if it's challenging and I'm not saying it's easy or that I do all the time but I'd rather find out what somebody really thinks and feels than go down an imaginary tangent, because then we can do something about it. You know, it doesn't mean set forever. It just means that, hey, at least we're starting from a truthful space.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the like you said earlier, the fairy tale delusional. You know, space, yeah exactly. Yeah, well, this seems like a good time. Do you want to talk about how people can work with you, like how they can meet you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure, I mean, the easiest way to reach me would be my website, bernmendezcom, that's B-E-R-N-M-E-N-D-E-Zcom. There's a I have a quiz there. If somebody's single and wants to find out a bit more what, what their biggest attraction blind spot is, you can take it. It's free. You can find me in YouTube Bern Mendes Find me and you have like hundreds of free videos there that you can learn from. So those would be probably the two best spaces Bern Mendescom and YouTube.
Speaker 2:Okay, Awesome. And then are there any final thoughts, or just you know?
Speaker 1:takeaways you want people to. Yes, biggest, I mean I'll say I mean I'll go in three takeaways. Number one if you're a single woman and you're not experiencing the love that you want, it's easy to think that it's never going to change. I'm telling you, as a result of not just imagining this stuff, but having worked with hundreds of women who actually get what they want, that it is possible. It is not easy, and anyone who sells you the idea is easy, please run away because they're BSing you but it is possible.
Speaker 1:Two, that we have more potential in terms of what's possible in our relationship today than at any other point in human history. Yet, because what we want is so ambitious, if we don't get the skills for it, it's, it's a high, just imagination that we're going to get it. And the third thing I'll say is that there are multiple factors If you're a woman who's single, especially in midlife, especially if you have a decent income, that make it more challenging for you. And I don't want to go into all of them. I mean it's like, but it's. I mean I'm about to read a paper that I mean there's like maybe 30 points, not to make it sad, just it's the way it is Because I'm a proponent of if things are challenging, the way to get what you want isn't to A imagine it is not happening or, b to just change.
Speaker 1:You can't change the number of available conscious men out there, but you can stand out more. You can figure out a way to express yourself more powerfully, to put yourself in the right rooms where you can meet those people. So with some strategy and some emotional regulation, you can get a lot more than what you imagined before.
Speaker 2:All right, awesome, yes, thank you very much. And for the listeners, if you enjoy this episode, be sure to tell your friends about it and share it as well, and also follow the show, of course. All right, thank you so much, byrne. Thanks for inviting me. I appreciate it. All right, thanks everyone.
