#100 Navigating Life by Design with David B. Prosper

David Prosper shares his journey to becoming a clarity advocate and how finding clarity transforms our approach to relationships, dating, and self-worth. His mission began while observing capable people in his community failing to reach their potential due to lack of clarity about navigating life intentionally rather than reactively.

• Growing up in the projects of Fort Lauderdale inspired David to help others find clarity in their lives
• Clarity isn't about having everything figured out, but identifying your next right step
• Difficult conversations lead to deeper relationships when approached with truth and grace
• Many people struggle to articulate what they want in dating because they're focused on avoiding past hurts
• The best intimate experiences come from clear communication about wants and needs
• Self-worth builds when we follow through on commitments to ourselves, even small ones
• Progress looks different every day - sometimes it's 10%, sometimes 100% - but celebrate all progress
• David's book "Finding Clarity" will be released in August 2025

You can reach David directly at davidbprosper.com or find him on Instagram @iamprosper1_.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to David Prosper
• 3:26 The Journey to Clarity
• 6:23 Finding Clarity Through Writing
• 9:30 Difficult Conversations and Healthy Relationships
• 13:51 Clarity in Dating and Sex
• 17:30 Building Self-Worth Through Action
• 20:35 Closing Thoughts and Contact Information

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth.

Speaker 2: 0:02

Podcast Frank talk about sex and dating. Hello, Tamara here, Welcome to the show. Today's guest is David Prosper, a new author, and we'll be talking about finding clarity and how lack of clarity emotionally and mentally shows up in dating, sex and self-worth. Thanks for joining me, David.

Speaker 1: 0:20

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Speaker 2: 0:23

Yes, I think it'll be great stuff. I know I often lack clarity sometimes, so it'll be helpful for me too. So what brought you to understand that clarity was good? Or you want to talk about that like how you got started knowing that?

Speaker 1: 0:38

It started with, like growing up in the projects of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and I will see a lot of smart people, capable people, educated people do things that they know, that they not do things that they know they could do.

Speaker 1: 0:55

And it was the lack of information, because there was a dime, a dozen. The Internet was there when I grew up, but it was the lack of clarity of knowing what to do, how to do it, when to do it and how to navigate life by design versus reactive. So I started seeing it and just like the brokenness in my community and I was just like okay, like what is this problem that we're facing? And I went on this long hike in Colorado Springs a couple of years ago. And I went on this long hike in Colorado Springs a couple of years ago and I asked God what's my purpose? And he was just like clarity. So ever since then I've just been on this mission, obsessed with how do people get to the destination, how do they navigate life in a way that it's not reactive but it's more intentional and it's more reflective. So that's how the journey started for me.

Speaker 2: 1:46

Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, not that it compares, but I had foster kids who are from a low-income area and that was my goal too is to just show them, like I would drive them around nicer neighborhoods and say, see, like this is the world out there, and if you stay in school, go to school, do well, you know there's other kinds of life out there, so I understand where that could come from. So very cool, and on the just out of curiosity, because I always feel like I may have a purpose as well. And then the clarity and feeling like God said something. Like. What did that feel like? Was it just like you just knew it in your bones? Or it felt like someone actually said something?

Speaker 2: 2:24

Like. What did that feel like? Was it just like you just knew it in your bones? Or it felt like someone actually said something or cause. I've had an experience where I felt like they said he's not right for you. Like I woke up, like, oh my God, like someone said you know when I was with someone that I was debating on breaking up, so how was that for you?

Speaker 1: 2:37

Yeah, it was, it was audible. And and even then, i'm'm still a little skeptical because, granted, I grew up in a church and I would hear my mother and she was a pastor, but I was still skeptical. So I was like, all right, I know you said it, but I'm still doubtful, so I need some confirmation. So I was like, give me some confirmation. And I literally drove from my hike in a mountain. I drove and I saw this sign it was a store called Clarity and I was like, okay, like I can't miss this, and I've never seen it. I've driven that spot every time and I've never seen it. And it was like Clarity. And I was like, okay, all right, that's you who said that.

Speaker 2: 3:16

Yeah, that's very cool. And what, now that you're on that path, what have you done to help people or what's? I know, obviously you just mentioned that you wrote a book recently, so talk there, or more of the journey to get to the book.

Speaker 1: 3:29

Yeah. So both the journey to the book was it was quite the journey. I believe as authors sometimes we can speak from the mountaintop of where we've arrived, but it's the process that I love. And throughout the book, each chapter that I wrote that's coming out August 2025, I had to go through my own crucible, like some chapters were super hard for me because I had to go into the trauma of my past relationships, and one of the chapters I was talking about the power of subtraction and I talk about sometimes we need to find only quality people and in that chapter, like I cried the entire time, I told my girlfriend I was like I lost a lot of people and we took different paths and we had different intentions and purposes.

Speaker 1: 4:27

So the book was. It is written from a place of authenticity and is more of a conversation of here's the journey I've been through in clarity. Here's some example, here's some neuroscience, here's some psychology, and then there's questions throughout the book that has the reader to start reflecting, because there's nothing worse than somebody just talking and then no one having a chance to ask questions or even reflect. So the book is more of a conversation that you're having over a cup of coffee and I believe that clarity isn't this like there's a myth that you have to have everything figured out, and it's not that. It's what is my next right step and throughout the book is what is your next right step. And those things create a compound clarity which creates momentum, and momentum changes trajectories and lifestyles and legacies.

Speaker 2: 5:20

Yeah, yeah, I like that, yeah, cause I felt like that too, like where I'm not sure what to do, and then something happens like, okay, I've always had plan A through D in my mind and so whichever I like work towards all of them. But one becomes the clear thing and I, like you said you mutually, or just had to be like I, yeah, I need to move on from you, kind of thing. Do you like have the conversation and say that, or do you just stop talking as often? Or like, how did that work generally for you?

Speaker 1: 5:59

Oh, that's such a good question. I believe in having difficult conversations and I believe difficult conversation leads to deeper relationships and difficult conversation doesn't have. I grew up in a toxic environment trauma and communication. It was violence all the time. I grew up around that. So I was like okay, I'm going to do the opposite of this because clearly this doesn't work for anybody involved. Okay, I'm going to do the opposite of this because clearly this doesn't work for anybody involved.

Speaker 1: 6:30

So when we think of difficult conversations, there's like a perception that it has to be rude, it has to be crude, it has to be hurtful. I believe that we can love people with truth and grace. So I've had many difficult conversations and then, for example, it would look like this If we were ending a conversation, it would be like, hey, I'm going to share some things that's been bothering me. I want to hear what's been bothering you and how you view things, and at the end of it let's find a resolution. And my first pursuit is how can we resolve it? But if we can't resolve it, then how can we move forward amicably?

Speaker 1: 7:05

And then I share the things that bothered me and I'm like, okay, what did you hear from what I shared? And they were, they would share what they shared, and I was like okay, what's the resolution? How can we solve this and resolve this? If the person's not willing, then you can't make the person do it. So it's just like okay, like I love you and I've said this to a lot of family members I love you and I'm thankful for you, and there's always a space here. Here is the standard, though If we're going to interact with each other, it's gonna be healthy, and if we're not gonna be healthy, then we're no longer gonna interact with each other. That's just the standard. There's always a space if you decide to come back, but until that, I'm just gonna love you from afar, know that you're in my heart and that I'm praying for you and that the bridge is always open. But this is the standard if we're going to interact with each other.

Speaker 2: 7:53

Yeah, that's a great way to do it Because, like you said, difficult doesn't have to be mean or hard and you can grow closer potentially if you actually resolve everything, Because so many guys not just guys, but so many people I'll just say in my experience, like in the past, where guys they don't want to talk about it, let's just move on, and then you never resolve the thing and you know it's just much healthier and helpful if you can actually, like, have a difficult conversation, resolve some stuff and move on. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 8:21

Yeah, we all need it. We all need it. We all need it. And I remember the first time I started dating my girlfriend, I told her from the beginning I was like, just so you know, we're never going to fight. She was like what? I was like we're never going to fight. Like what do you mean? I was like you and I are never going to fight. He was like say more. And I was like we are always going to have a conversation. I don't care how much tension in there. We're going to have a conversation that's going to be respectable, it's going to be validating and it's going to be you're going to say I statements. You're not going to say you, you, you, if you want me to interact in a way, that's was like this has been the most healthiest relationship I've ever been. I was like that's standard, because we don't fight. That's stupid.

Speaker 2: 9:09

Yeah. Yeah, I'm in the same boat for the first time, like a nice healthy, just have conversations and work stuff out. It's such a refreshing change. I like it, yeah. So what are some of the other chapters that stood out or that you think are most helpful? Or the next thing that's helpful?

Speaker 1: 9:26

All of it is helpful. But one of my couple of my favorite personally is Behind the Curtains and it's the last chapter. So there's this book that inspired me by Napoleon Hill, called Outwitting the Devil, and in that book, like he's having this fictitious conversation with the devil and he's interviewing him. So I was inspired by that book because I've read that a couple of times and I was like OK, like how can I intertwine this? So in Chapter 13 of Finding Clarity there's is called the Behind the Curtains of Finding Clarity.

Speaker 1: 10:03

There's it's called the Behind the Curtains and in this chapter there's a conversation between God and the devil on behalf of the people. So there's spiritual forces happening around us and the devil is typically trying to keep us in a space of comfort and chaos and God is trying to bring us to a space of clarity and wholeness and healing. So there's this conversation happening in the background while Emily is going to coffee and she's feeling heavy and she's in her car and she's crying uncontrollably and she's making progress and then she's going back to what she said she would never do again and like going, seeing that from a front, like seeing that up front, and then seeing the conversation that's happening on the back end is one of my favorite chapters.

Speaker 2: 10:50

Okay, and then as far as like dating and finding clarity, like what are your thoughts on? Like how would you approach like I know you have a girlfriend now but in the past? Like how would you best approach like dating in the dating world or suggest others do?

Speaker 1: 11:08

Yeah, I would say one of the biggest things I learned in dating is that we have experienced so much hurt from our past that we're unable to articulate what we actually want. And when I say that, I remember I've gone on dates and I would ask girls and I would say, hey, like, what are you looking for? And the first thing that they would tell me is, well, I'm not looking for someone who's abusive and a narcissist. And I was like time out, time out, time time, wait a minute. I said what are you looking for? Not what do you don't want.

Speaker 1: 11:48

So, like when dating, I believe like we don't have to be completely healed to get into a relationship, and I know there's people that are like healed first, like because relationships should be a space of healing, but we should deal with a lot of the things that haven't been dealt with and we should never place that expectation or that burden on people. So I believe, when it comes to dating and finding partners or friendships or whatever it looks like, is really doing the work of what do I want, and that seems like a big audacious thought what do I want? Well, I don't know. Like the movie, the Notebook, what do you want?

Speaker 1: 12:28

I don't know, but I would venture and say, asking what makes me feel alive when I have deep conversations? Do I feel alive when I have shallow conversations? Do that make me feel alive? When I'm doing, when I'm creating experiences, does that make me feel alive? Or I'm getting gifts, does that make me feel alive? So it's finding things that makes us feel alive and do I feel better as a result of being around this person is the biggest indicating. Like every date I've come from, I've always asked myself do I feel better being around this person? And the answer is yes, I'll be around them more often. The answer is no, and their energy and their vibe and their auras. It's like I'm not trying to create a project and I'm not trying to fix something or make something artificially happen. So I would say finding out what, what makes us feel alive and and what do we want, versus focusing on the pain that we experienced in our past.

Speaker 2: 13:34

Yeah, for sure. So, since this podcast is about dating and sex, like, is there anything you would say about clarity in sex? Like is it? It? I'm imagining a open dialogue as well. In general, like is that your recommendation, or like thoughts on clarity around that?

Speaker 1: 13:52

a hundred percent, like right, the. I believe the the best intimacy, the best sex experiences are the one that's the most communicated Like. So when we have this, when we don't communicate what our wants are and our needs, that's like setting the other person up for, like failure, and like it's like food, right, you can say, hey, I want more of that. Can you do that? You know more of that. So it's the same thing in sex. It's like, hey, I like when you perform this and this was what gets me going, and it starts the process of being wanted and clarity. It starts in communication and it's like here's what I want.

Speaker 1: 14:39

And it starts at the beginning of the day. It's not when it the act actually happened. It's like, hey, like in the morning, hey, I want you, you're beautiful. Like I tell my girl, like, and, and it becomes. It becomes this journey versus this one-time act that becomes so, uh, the experience falls short. So, yeah, clarity is needed in what do I want, what's enjoyable in this process, what we agree on, because one person can agree on something, another person don't agree on it. That's miscommunication right there and people are frustrated. So, just having that understanding of what works for us and what doesn't work for us.

Speaker 2: 15:23

Yeah, I like that. And then you also talked about finding clarity, both emotionally and mentally. Is there anything you want to say about one of those? First?

Speaker 1: 15:31

Yeah, emotionally and mentally it goes hand in hand. I believe that emotionally happens after the mental and it happens after, when we're grounded. So I always encourage my clients and the people in my circle if they're stuck, if they just like don't know where to go, first get grounded. And when we're in anxiety and if we're in our trauma brain or our amygdala brain fight or flight and constantly in survivor mode, we won't have the emotional capacity nor the mental capacity to hold space for other people around us. So getting grounded.

Speaker 1: 16:12

And then, once we're grounded, then we can use our prefrontal cortex to start reasoning what makes sense, what doesn't make sense, what's the next best step. And then, when we're at that spot, then we can start changing the stories that we tell ourselves. Often, and the stories typically influence our emotions. So if the story I'm telling myself is that I'm not enough and that I'm not worthy of love, then the emotion is gonna feel like sadness, depression, isolation, discouragement, and I tend to repeat that story and now it reinforces that emotion. So I would say the mental piece of getting grounded, moving from our amygdala to our prefrontal cortex, what allows us to reason, and then changing the stories we tell ourselves, it then changes the emotions that we feel.

Speaker 2: 17:05

Yeah, yeah, definitely agree. And then the other point you mentioned, where we talked about early on, was talking about self-worth. Is that, I'm guessing it's somewhat similar to the emotional, mental, like the stories you tell yourself, or is there more to the self-worth part of it for you?

Speaker 1: 17:23

Yeah, that's a great question. So self-worth is? I believe it's. It's the, it's the by-product of in in action or action. So when we say we're going to do something and we don't do it, then we start trusting ourselves. So we become less confident and confidence is believing in one's ability to get the job done.

Speaker 1: 17:48

So I believe a lot of people who struggle with with self-worth issues just like I have when I was younger I made promises to myself that I didn't commit to. So when we have clarity, it allows us to understand why we're doing something, how to do it, when to do it and how to navigate through it. Then we start taking steps. It starts becoming those micro moments of confidence builder, like when we're in grade school and we're learning basic math one plus one is two, two plus two is four, and then we get so proficient in doing that thing. Then now we move on to the next grade and just like, oh, ok, like I did addition, now we can do multiplication and let's ask them division, because I've done this before, now I can build on what I've done.

Speaker 1: 18:46

So I believe when individuals struggle with self-worth and self-esteem issues is because they haven't built anything they can leverage from. And the first thing is like just do one small thing and be honest with yourself and do what you say you're going to do, and do that enough times and then celebrate that you've done it enough times. And that's where confidence comes from. It's like like the birds, like they're not. They're not afraid of the branch breaking because they believe in their ability to fly. And it's just like anything else, like I don't care what comes my way because I believe in my ability to navigate.

Speaker 2: 19:22

That Very cool. I was going to ask who are. I know you mentioned Napoleon Hill reading his book. Are there any other influencers or or celebrity or people you look up to, like that, that share your philosophy or you've learned from?

Speaker 1: 19:35

Yeah, first and foremost, jesus Christ. He set the blueprint, and the best book I've ever read was the Bible. So, like it, it it's taught me how to, how to love, how to serve, how to give, how to create boundaries, how to set standards and how to navigate relationships in the healthiest ways. So that's who I look up to. As far as specific celebrities, there's no one I look up to. There's people who I like a lot of their teaching styles and their strategies, but I don't place any man or woman on a pedestal to say I want to be like that. No, it's just like I like that. But I'm David Prosper and there's one of me, just like there's one of you.

Speaker 2: 20:24

Yeah, it just cause you remind me of some of the people that I follow and my boyfriend follows. So I was just thinking of, but yeah, I can see that where you are, just who you are, and I can see you becoming one of those people. So, if you're not already, but I mean you know, like more well-known, like like Alex Hormozy or something like that.

Speaker 1: 20:44

Yeah, he's awesome.

Speaker 2: 20:45

That's, that's the vibe I get. So, yeah, but on that note, how can people reach you or work with you, or until how to reach, get your book and all that?

Speaker 1: 20:55

First and foremost, you can reach me directly at davidbprospercom. I'm on all social network platforms, but the place I live is Instagram and you can find me at. I am prosper one underscore I am prosper one underscore. Or you just put in David B Prosper and you'll see me as well. So those are the two places that I live, but I'm on all social network.

Speaker 2: 21:17

Okay, and I know you said your book comes out August 2025. And is it going to be everywhere, or like Amazon first, or like? I don't know how new books work if it's certain places are everywhere?

Speaker 1: 21:28

It's going to be on Amazon, so it's going to be super simple and Ingram sparks, but most people know Amazon because, Amazon day is coming up, but no, it's already started. So, yeah, it's going to be on Amazon as well as different platforms.

Speaker 2: 21:43

All right. Well, is there any like takeaway or last kind of closing thoughts kind of thing? Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1: 21:50

I would encourage everyone every day, find clarity every day, make progress and if you do those things, you'll eventually end up in the spot that you want to end up in. And progress looks differently every day. So, whatever you're going through, whatever you're navigating, whatever challenges you have, some day progress is 10%, some days it's 100%, but it's still progress. So celebrate that, walk forward and stay clear.

Speaker 2: 22:17

All right, well, thank you very much. That's some great information and I appreciate you being on, and if you love this episode, be sure to tell your friends about it and rate it as well, and follow the show, of course, and check out him on Instagram David B Prosper. Search. That way, the easiest way. It sounds like. All right, well, thank you very much for being on again.

Speaker 1: 22:38

Thank you All right.

Speaker 2: 22:39

Well, thank you very much for being on again. Thank you All right. Thanks everyone.