# 108 Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last, They Just Show Up Weird

Dating doesn’t need more tricks—it needs better fundamentals. We sit down with Sharp Game, the creator behind Love Can’t Wait, to pull apart the universal relationship principles he learned while traveling the world in the Navy and coaching millions online. Across cultures and personalities, three forces keep showing up: grounded leadership, mutual respect, and a felt sense of safety that lets people be themselves. When those are present, dates are lighter, conversations are clearer, and attraction grows without posturing.

Sharp Game also breaks down the myths that hold men back. Assuming an attractive woman has it “all figured out” keeps too many guys from saying hello. The “nice guy” problem isn’t kindness—it’s manipulation disguised as generosity, with early gifts and performative sweetness that don’t match real character. We cover why many men benefit from marrying after 35. Finally, we explore why you should take words with a grain of salt and read consistency over declarations—people often soften truths to spare feelings, and interest shows up in behavior.

If you found this conversation useful, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find the show.

Chapters

• 0:00 Opening And Guest Intro
• 0:39 Navy Travel And Universal Traits
• 2:06 Leadership As A Core Attractor
• 4:27 Respect As Relationship Bedrock
• 5:47 Safety, Comfort, And Openness
• 8:12 Common Dating Mistakes Men Make
• 10:58 Why Nice Guys Struggle
• 13:58 Marry After 35 Rationale
• 16:07 Where To Find Sharp Game
• 17:52 Take Words Lightly, Read Signals
• 19:26 Final Mindset And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to the Straight from the Source's Mouth Podcast. Frank talk about sex and dating. Hello, Tamra here. Welcome to the show. Today's guest is Sharp Game, a trusted dating advisor to millions, and we'll be talking about straightforward dating advice. Thanks for joining me, Sharp Game.

SPEAKER_01: 0:17

I'm happy to be here. Looking forward to it. To it Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 0:22

Yeah, I like talking about helping people with their dating, especially a lot of people are not enjoying it nowadays. So any advice we can give to help people enjoy it a little more will be helpful.

SPEAKER_01: 0:35

Yeah, that's fantastic. You know, let's let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_00: 0:39

Yeah. And I know you said you got your start when you were in the Navy overseas, or at least that's where you got to learn a lot about different women from different cultures. Do you want to say more about that and start there?

SPEAKER_01: 0:50

Or yeah, yeah. When I went in the um Navy, you know, I um, you know, I met people from uh all around the world basically. And um I was just I was always curious to know and understand what you know different cultures, different languages, and I just found it fascinating at the time. And I realized, you know, where where I'm living at the time, I'm from South Carolina, in North America, right? People are very different. Everywhere you go, people are very different, right? Women are very different. But at the same time, there's some like core things about women that are the same, regardless of the language, how she was raised, how she looks, how she dressed, how she talks, how she walks. There's some core things about women are the same, you know. So I I just found it when I started traveling, being in the Navy and even getting out in the Navy, that these core things about attracting women are basically the same regardless of where you live at.

SPEAKER_00: 1:58

Okay. Yeah, and do you want to share like some of the stuff you found out or or more about how you use that in your when you coach people or help people?

SPEAKER_01: 2:06

Yeah, yeah, like the the first thing I learned is like leadership is the same everywhere. Everywhere you go, everyone knows what leadership looks like. And might not be able to explain it, but they can sense it, they can feel it, right? And they can tell you, probably the first guy that's that's ever been in their life was their father, right? That that's most people would say, yeah, the first guy I saw, you know, growing up was my father. I saw my father take care of the household, take care of my mom, take care of my sisters and brothers. And, you know, my father made a lot of tough decisions. So most people's father uh is usually the first good example of they had when it comes to leadership.

SPEAKER_00: 3:00

Yeah, and then uh so you're saying women prefer a man who can lead. Yeah. Is that what you found to be true? I mean, I don't know. That's true for sure, too. Yeah. But I mean, there's a lot of like they don't think they want to be led as you know, that they're with the the independence and feminism and all that, but I I definitely also agree that it just works best when if you respect and let your man.

SPEAKER_01: 3:23

And I'm glad you brought that up. Even even the the so-called independent woman, if the right guy shows up, I found even that woman will be like, hey, you know what? I like him. I'm gonna I'm gonna put my trust into him. Even the right, if the right guy shows up, even the most independent woman uh you can ever think of, even the woman that you probably would say, oh, she would never get with a man. But if the right guy shows up, she will throw all that stuff out the window.

SPEAKER_00: 3:58

Yeah, actually, I just talked to a friend who who is very much like that. She would never I would never would have thought she could have. And she met the right guy, and she actually just felt safe and relaxed and just kind of let him take the lead because she respected him enough and it just worked. And she was surprised herself.

SPEAKER_01: 4:13

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 4:15

Yeah, but yeah, it's definitely an important thing. And it's and do you uh share with people like how to take leading, or do you want to go through what you found out first and then talk about each one individually or talk about it now?

SPEAKER_01: 4:27

Well, you mentioned one, one another one, respect. Respect, I found is probably the most important thing when it comes to having relationships between men and women. It's like I found that if you have mutual respect, everything else will take care of itself within that relationship. Everything kind of works itself out in a very natural way, if there's mutual respect. But I also found on the other side, if there is no respect on on from each each of us, each side, whether it's from the man's side or the women's side, that relationship is going to struggle and ultimately it's probably going to end.

SPEAKER_00: 5:20

Yeah, yeah, I would definitely agree. Or you're just gonna fight a lot and then some people suffer through it. Yeah, but yeah, it's definitely just a power struggle the whole time, and just everything taking people take it personally and get mad at each other. So yeah. Definitely a thing. Yep. And do you want to go into the other ones you found out after leadership and respect, or talk more about leadership first?

SPEAKER_01: 5:46

Well, we can get into some more. I found I also found that um regardless of where you may be in the world, every woman wants to be safe. She wants to feel like, hey, I'm comfortable with this guy, regardless of where he may be from or where she might be from. Um comfort is like um is it's very important. It it it it when people are comfortable with you, they tend to open up, be more um open. You can talk about almost anything. Um, there's no stress, no pressure. Um, you know, the you know, the conversation flows, there's no no assumptions, there's no, you know, there's no I don't know, I didn't know this, you know, because you're you're very open. So you don't have to put on an act, or you don't have to be somebody else, you know, because a lot of people go into relationships uh a majority of the time, I would say, they feel they don't feel comfortable with themselves. They feel like they gotta be somebody else, or they have to pretend to be somebody else. So, you know, I found that just you well first you have to know who you are. And you and once you know who you are just being comfortable between each other, that that's a very um that's very important when it comes to between relationships between men and women.

SPEAKER_00: 7:30

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, I mean that's number one for women for sure. Because it some men don't understand like how unsafe women can feel going through the world, you know. Like my boyfriend will get surprised that I'm like you know, startled by something and like, well, we have to worry about that more than you guys do. Yeah. Especially like a smaller, like petite woman. You know, a friend of mine, she's like five foot and weighed almost nothing, and she's like, we could literally be like carried off, you know. So luckily I'm a little taller, so I don't have to have that issue. I don't feel as unsafe, but yeah, it's like definitely and then like you said, just interacting with each other, the safety there of being yourself.

SPEAKER_01: 8:08

So yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 8:10

Yeah. What is there more or those like the three main, three, four main ones?

SPEAKER_01: 8:17

Or yeah, those I would say those are the main ones.

SPEAKER_00: 8:21

And what are some of the biggest mistakes men make while dating?

SPEAKER_01: 8:26

Oh, I think the one of the biggest mistakes is a lot of guys think women got it all figured out. They think that, you know, if they see uh an attractive woman, or at least a woman that's attractive to him, he just assumes that she got it all figured out. You know, uh hey, I'm probably she's probably out of my league anyway. So I'm just not gonna go and talk to her. You know, he thinks that he she got it all figured out. She got the job, she got the car, she got the clothes, the jewelry, the house. So she got it all figured out. You know, she's probably not looking for a man anyway, or probably don't want one, you know. So they assume, you know, they assume too much. And a lot of times, this is where a lot of guys get in trouble because they come off with those assumptions, and in most cases, they're wrong. The truth is no one has it all figured out. We're all growing, not at the same rate, but no one has everything all figured out. Now, some of us are better in some areas than others, of course, yes, but no one has everything figured all figured out. And um, there's no such thing as a self-made person. You know, there's this um on the internet, especially, you know, they there's uh this this idea that you know one person can do it all. You know, that's no, that's that's a fantasy world that a lot of people um uh you know talk about. And and it got started probably like 20 years ago through a lot of entertainers, I would say. That's how it got started. That somehow this one man or this one woman done everything and didn't need any help and just did it by themselves. But no, but it it real life just doesn't work like that. Everybody needs support, everybody needs help at some point. Nobody's good at doing everything, you know. So that's one of the biggest mistakes that a lot of guys make.

SPEAKER_00: 10:31

Yeah, I was gonna say the women that you described earlier are the ones that are probably looking for the man because they have everything else, and now that all they need is the guy, and then they're the ones that are least approached. So yeah, I definitely agree with that. And then the um having it all together, like when couples you know do better when they're both supporting each other, they can both thrive and both grow. So yeah, it's always good to have someone there pushing you to grow, yeah, for sure. Yeah, and then one of the questions I have why why nice guys, why do nice guys have a hard time dating women? What's up with that?

SPEAKER_01: 11:06

Well, a lot of times, a lot of nice guys come across as they're manipulating the woman. They're trying to be something that they're not, and a lot of women will pick up on that. They know that you're doing things just because you think she likes it. And they know that's you're not like that every day. You're not like that. You might not even be like that with every woman, but she picks up on that, hey, he that ain't who he really is. You know, he brought me flowers the first day, you know, and I never met him in my life. Yeah, and he's claims he loves me, doesn't know me at all, you know, stuff like that, or brings me a uh a gift, spending hundreds of dollars, and he never met me in my life. And she knows that you don't do this all the time. You know, you only did this with me because of whatever reason, right? So she knows that you're not being who you say, who you who you say you're supposed to be, you know. So that's that's a mistake, you know. So that's why, and by the time you by the time, you know, over time the woman is gonna lose her, well, she's gonna probably she never really respected you in the first place, but the relationship is gonna fall, it's gonna crumble, it's not gonna last. And then she's probably gonna end up cutting you off, and you're gonna be one of those guys that's saying, Oh, she did me wrong, you know, uh look at what I did for her, and you know, that so that's that's more manipulation than anything. You know, just try to be your best self, whatever that is. And if you feel like who you are as your best self ain't enough, you can always grow. But don't try to fake it till you make it. That that doesn't work, that doesn't last, you know? So and and I always tell a lot of guys, I don't know about you, but I want I like to win. And when you fake it till you make it and try to be somebody else, you gotta always have to start all over again. And that's that's losing. So I like to win, I like to do things to win, I like to set myself up to win. So, and in order for me, in order to win, you have to grow into your best self.

SPEAKER_00: 13:47

Yeah, they say you can't love other people till you love yourself, and you know what, you're just a more interesting person if you've grown and learned and have things to offer each other. And I know you recommend that men wait to get married till after 35. Why would you say that is true?

SPEAKER_01: 14:04

Well, unfortunately, um, a lot of us we don't really know who we are when when we're in our 20s. We're trying to figure it out just like women are trying to figure out. Now, some people will make the argument and say, well, women mature faster than men. That's true in in in most cases, right? But we catch up. Right? We catch up. So we're trying to figure out who we are. So I think when you get married early, it's very difficult, you know, to maintain those relationships. If you talk to any couple that got married in the early 20s or the teens, or maybe it was 18 and 19, if you talk to any of these people and they're still together today, yeah, they're gonna tell you a lot of trials and tribulations that they've been through over the past 15 or 20 years of being married and living in the same household and having kids and having all this financial responsibility. And I just think that for most people, it would be much easier and even wiser to get married later, you know, 35 or better, you know, that way you know what you like, what you don't like, you have more life experience. Um, your finances is probably gonna be better. It might not be where you want it to be, but it's gonna be better. And you know, you you you have a better idea of how things work, what what works for you, uh, what might work for her, and what might work for the both of y'all when y'all get together. So I just think it's it's it's much a better idea. And you have more life experience in the when you're in your later years, like 35 or better.

SPEAKER_00: 16:06

Yeah. And and you have a YouTube channel and podcast yourself. You want to talk about some of the stuff, how people could reach you?

SPEAKER_01: 16:14

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, my my my my handle on YouTube is called Love Can't Wait. And and my podcast is Love Can't Wait as well. And basically I talk about all things, uh relationships between men and women. A lot of it has to do with um a lot of questions that I usually get by email, and a lot of it, I even talk about a celebrities sometimes, you know. But a lot of it is based on relationships at the end of the day. You know, what works, what doesn't work, um, mistakes that people made, mistakes that should could have been avoided. Um, so yeah, everything is based on relationships and what works, what doesn't work, and what you can do to become a a better you, basically.

SPEAKER_00: 17:05

Okay. And do you have and I do you have other stuff to share about like how to or you if they go to your podcast, they'll see all the other stuff because I know it says you or you wrote books as well.

SPEAKER_01: 17:18

Yeah, if you go to my um website, love at first click.com, you're gonna find everything there. My books, uh my YouTube channels there, my podcast is there, everything is there. And if you I have a newsletter, you can um you can get as well. So everything is on at my website, love at firstclick.com. And I spell love at firstclick.com.

SPEAKER_00: 17:51

Okay. All right, and then um just a couple more questions. You said that uh you mentioned that why why men should take what women say with a grain of salt.

SPEAKER_01: 18:02

I I think I know the answer, but I want to hear your Yeah, because most women they don't want to be mean in in most cases, right? Now you and now you have some women that they just don't care. They just they'll just they they'll just be rude and raw with it, right? But for the most part, women they don't want to be mean. So they'll they'll just say something because they don't want to hurt hurt the guys' feelings in in most cases, you know. But that's why I say you should take what women say with a green. So a lot of times, um, when you're talking to a woman, uh, you know, if if you don't get it, they're not gonna really spend a lot of time trying to explain to you because in their mind, you ain't the one. And they know, okay, if I have to keep explaining this to him, I'm probably gonna have to keep explaining to him all the time. So a lot of women like he just ain't the one. You know, he's a nice guy, but he ain't the one for me. So I need to go and find somebody that that that has it, that understands what I'm talking about, you know, without me going into all the details and everything. So that's why I say you should take what women say with a grain of salt.

SPEAKER_00: 19:19

So it's part of goes back to part of that the connection, maybe the click. Like either two people either get it or don't, you either get each other or not. Yeah. And that's yeah, I agree with that too. But also, like women are are more inclined to like their feelings change often. So like they might be mad for in five minutes and then like five minutes later fine. Like and we we always change our opinion based on how we feel instead of what we think. So it's always changing.

SPEAKER_01: 19:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 19:45

And you can never like predict exactly what we're gonna think or be. So like you know, just wait, like the weather, you just wait, you know, 20 minutes and the weather will change, our opinion will change potentially. So yeah, I was gonna say that was part of the reason too.

SPEAKER_01: 19:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 20:00

All right. Well, is there anything you want to like just kind of make sure we capture like a kind of closing comments, final thoughts to just kind of leave like daters in general, like what's okay.

SPEAKER_01: 20:14

I would say at the end of the day, you're either growing or you're not. And I said, I always say that you should all you should always be looking to get better, whether you're a man or a woman. You know, and I heard like years ago, somebody said you either growing or you're dying. You can't do both at the same time. So I always say you should be doing something every day to get better. That's my philosoph that's my life philosophy, basically. You should always be doing something to get better. As a man, as a woman, as a father, as a brother, uh, you know, whatever. Whatever, whatever, even in your job or your profession, you should be doing something every day to get better. Because once once you take on that life philosophy and those habits, everything gets better. So that's that's what I would say.

SPEAKER_00: 21:23

Okay. Well, thank you much for uh thank you very much for being on. Um if you love this episode, be sure to tell your friends about it and rate it as well. And um, thanks for being on Sharp Game. Great stuff.

SPEAKER_01: 21:36

Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_00: 21:38

All right, bye. Thanks everyone. Frank's off, Frank Talk, exciting, adjudicating.