Food Can Support Desire And Performance When You Know What To Choose #145

The phrase “aphrodisiac foods” can sound like a myth, a gimmick, or a menu cliché, so we wanted to get specific about what actually holds up and what doesn’t. I’m joined by Amy Reily, an award-winning cookbook author and the authority behind Eat Something Sexy, to break down how food, desire, and sexual performance connect through real nutrition, food history, and the psychology of anticipation.

We talk about why the FDA standard for proving libido claims is so strict, and why that doesn’t mean the whole idea is nonsense. Amy explains a more useful framework: many foods associated with libido support are the same foods that support heart health, energy, and blood flow, which are key for sexual wellness. From oysters (hello zinc and lean protein) to cacao and dark chocolate (antioxidants plus a mild stimulant effect), we dig into what might be happening in the body and why “sexy” sometimes starts with feeling good physically.

Then we get practical with romantic dinner ideas you can actually use.  We also cover playful connection builders like sharing an artichoke with garlic butter, when garlic is more friend than foe if you both eat it, and a beautiful non-alcohol drink idea like a pomegranate spritzer.

We wrap with the most important romance tip of all: plan for your partner’s tastes, not a fantasy menu you saw online. If you want more confidence, more energy, and a better shot at intimacy at the end of a long day, this one will give you a clear starting point. Subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

Tamara 0:00

Hello, it's Tamara here. Welcome to the show. Today's guest is Amy Riley, and she is best known as an authority on aphrodisiac foods, but she's also a speaker, award-winning cookbook author, and consultant. Thanks for joining me, Amy.

Amy 0:13

Thank you so much for having me today.

Tamara 0:16

Yes, this is definitely a new topic, but I've heard of aphrodisiac foods, so I'll be curious to hear here what it means or what they are for you. Because I think a lot of people have certain conceptions of what they could be.

Amy 0:29

Definitely. We can really dig into it. I'm excited.

Tamara 0:33

Yeah, and you also went to culinary school. I did as well, but it's like a smaller regional one in Oklahoma City, so I won't even try to compare notes.

Amy 0:43

So you probably have better cooking chops than I do because the program that I went to, we covered everything except the practical. So I didn't go to Le Cordon Bleu, but I got a Master of Arts degree. I got an actual MA studying the history, food and culture, food and society, all of those things.

Tamara 1:03

Yeah, I did definitely did the hands-on stuff. But and I'm also a health coach and a nutrition coach. So good stuff for sure. All

From Wine Writing To Aphrodisiacs

Tamara 1:11

right. Well, what like how did you get started on knowing that, or I guess you're MA, but wherever you want to start with how you got started in having this apply to sex?

Amy 1:21

So I actually um I started out working as a wine writer, and wine is is still my first love, you know, it's my true passion. Um, but as a writer, I wanted to dig into bigger and deeper topics, and uh actually found the topic of aphrodisiacs accidentally. I wanted to do something with health. But jumping from wine to health, I was like, how do I, how do I do that? Um, and I kind of discovered that, well, the topic of aphrodisiacs, I mean, obviously, you know, it's food history, and there's a lot of wine, and particularly in in Western food history and you know, dating back to the Greeks and Romans and Bacchanalia and all of that. Um, but it also is a topic that really dives deep into nutrition and food science. And I just fell deeply in love with this topic, and here I am.

Tamara 2:11

Yeah, I can see why. Like, yeah, because you know, like health is about what you eat, like what you put in your body definitely determines and movement, which is a little bit of sex, of course. Yeah. So yeah, I can see where. So what um what how do aphrodisiacs work or what is what makes them them?

What Aphrodisiacs Mean In Science

Amy 2:31

So aphrodisiacs, I mean, it really depends on how you look at it. I see it as a really complex question. I mean, of course, the FDA says, well, it would be anything that would increase your sexual desire. And, you know, technically no, no food has been proven to do so. I think that they say that really more than anything to prevent people from trying things that are actually dangerous, um like Spanish fly. Because there is some evidence, of course, that that food can increase your desire. Um you know, when you when you look at the research, you of course have to take into account how big was the study, how good, but like with any any any scientific study, you kind of really have to take that into account. But there's enough to substantiate the idea that there are foods that can increase desire, but there are also foods that can increase sexual performance. Um, really, if you take a look at any food that's going to improve heart health or help support heart health, it's also going to help support your sexual health, your sexual performance. And so those foods, you know, are really aphrodisiacs. I have a website called Eat Something Sexy, and on there we feature 88 different foods that have both history and some sort of science or, you know, some sort of effect on the body that makes them an aphrodisiac. So there really are so many ways that you can you can look at it, and there are a surprising number of foods that are actually beneficial to your romantic life.

Surprising Foods That Boost Desire

Tamara 3:56

That's awesome. I'm sure people would be happy to hear. Do you want to share some of those?

Amy 4:00

Oh, I would love to. Um so I mean, it's anything from the lowly sweet potato, believe it or not. Uh it has tremendous amount, it has very little history. It's not particularly a sexy food, you know, to look at or aromatically, but uh nutritionally, it's it's particularly for women, it's it's great for your sexual health. There are more obvious things like the oyster, which, you know, and part of it, of course, is the psychological link. We all know, we've all heard of oysters. So when someone pulls out that plate of oysters, if they're you you kind of know going in what they're thinking about. Um, but oysters are a great source of zinc. They're also a great source of lean protein. You get energy from them, you improve blood flow. So, you know, they they they top, they're one of the foods that top my list. Um, you might be pleased to learn dark chocolate also tops my list. Definitely cocoa powder. Cocoa powder, cacao, um, you know, the the base ingredients of chocolate uh are really powerful, uh, both because of all of their antioxidants, but also they have a caffeine-like effect. Um so those would be those will be some of my favorites, uh, as well as I'm trying to think of some just really normal common foods. Chili peppers. Chili peppers are a great one because they raise your body temperature. So you're a little more ready to tear off your clothing. Um, they can bring a flush to your cheeks, which uh is believed that psychologically, someone who's interested in you, it will kind of turn them on like a sexual flush. Uh they make your lips plump up and your tongue tingle and make you just feel like kissing someone, if if you are attracted, of course, to the person who is enjoying this meal with you.

Tamara 5:44

Yeah, I was saying my ex used to always say, he's like, Oh, you're turning red, like implying that I was like interested in the conversation or like interested in him. So yeah, it does make sense.

Amy 5:54

And then chilies are a great one that way. It's exactly the effect.

Tamara 5:58

Yeah. And are there, I know you mentioned sweet potatoes are especially good for women. Are there some that are especially good for men?

Amy 6:04

There are. Um, one of my favorites for men is salmon. Um, any food that helps support energy, testosterone production, and heart health is generally considered a good aphrodisiac for men. So another one would be oats, which do not seem like a sexy food, but they're great for men's sexual health.

Tamara 6:27

Good to know. Yeah, it's not definitely not one you think of like oysters. It doesn't have that kind of reputation. Yeah. Yeah. And what's tomatoes and oats, it's not yeah.

Foods For Men And Women

Tamara 6:37

And on dates, like what would you recommend since you do have a cookbook as well? Like what kind of foods, like if you're gonna cook for each other, what are some of the that's a great point.

Amy 6:48

I actually in my second cookbook, I kind of took aphrodisiacs apart and made different chapters of recipes based on like what is your goal? Um, and if it's your goal is to just romance someone for that one evening, if it's a night of seduction, I actually choose different foods than if you are eating for your own sexual health or you and your partner are eating together for their sex for sexual health. Um, so for like a romantic evening, first of all, I recommend people are always surprised, I recommend lighter foods. Uh, you don't want to eat anything heavy. You don't want the blood going to your stomach for digestion. You don't want to feel sleepy. So I generally say avoid pastas. Um, for the most part, avoid or limit red meat, uh, except for wild game. I always say that's a great when I when I consult for chefs, I'll say, why not do a wild game dinner? Because it sounds exotic. Um, it's a great source of lean protein. So the people dining will get some energy. And, you know, so no, no heavy carbs, no heavy fats, um, things that are light and tasty and aromatic, um, a fennel salad, um,

Planning A Light Romantic Dinner

Amy 7:58

a you know, if you're going to have pasta, maybe a ravioli that's seafood stuffed, things like that that are a little lighter.

Tamara 8:07

Yeah, no, you're making me hungry. Yeah. And then for you said for if it's like a couple eating, well, I guess you said some of the stuff this week, too, and the salmon. Was there more foods that you would add to just absolutely.

Amy 8:21

Um, a nice, like if you I always encourage wine, but of course, if you don't want to bring alcohol into the mix, which is also understandable, something like a pomegranate spritzer, pomegranate juice, and um sparkling water, pomegranate is both historically aphrodisiac and it's beautiful blush red colored. Um, there's also quite a bit of research to support the idea that it's good for sexual health, particularly men's. So that's a nice, nice thing to try, a nice starter. Um as for dishes, I, you know, I encourage vegetables. Um, you can start with maybe a steamed artichoke that you share and dip in some sort of compound, but you know, some melted butter or some garlic butter or something. People think that you shouldn't have garlic on a date, but of course, if you both have it, like you the other person won't smell like they have garlic breath. And garlic is actually historically aphrodisiac. So maybe, you know, an artichoke that you can dip in garlic butter, and then you're reaching across the table together. Your your hands may brush or you could feed each other. It it opens up those kinds of possibilities.

Tamara 9:28

Yeah. And then I know there's like a few movies where they feed each other, you know, like before in bed, before bed. So you know different stuff. Yeah. Yes.

Amy 9:41

I actually created um for my audience, I created a date night scavenger hunt, which you create for your partner, and it ends with a picnic of certain foods that would be appropriate that you you set up on the bed, and that's the end of the scavenger hunt, is they find you waiting there with this sexy picnic in bed.

Drinks Starters And Playful Date Ideas

Tamara 10:01

That definitely sounds fun. Do you want to talk about how like the where they can find your cookbooks and what they're called and how to use and that kind of stuff?

Amy 10:08

So the cookbook that I mentioned before that was that's divided into different sections based on your romantic goal, it's called Romancing the Stove. Um my my first book, I really I I I'm I'm a little punny. Um my first book's title is Fork Me Spoon Me. And then my latest book, which is an ebook only, it was kind of an experiment for me. I'm really trying to be more environmentally conscious, not you know, waste the paper, not ship uh everywhere. So I did an ebook, uh, all desserts. It's called Eat Cake Naked.

Tamara 10:44

Okay.

Amy 10:46

So those are my books. I have two, I have a series of two coming out next year, which are for one for men and one for women, um, called the Passion Pantry series. And they're all about, you know, making those food choices to like really feel good and feel sexy in your own skin as a man or a woman. Um, and then of course, adding in that romance and all the things that go with it. So those will those are coming out in 2026.

Tamara 11:12

Awesome. Sounds good. And then uh for I know you which recipes for like holidays, like special events, do you have certain stuff you recommend?

Amy 11:22

Um, I do. I actually just updated one of my favorite recipes. It's a it's a vegan idea for Thanksgiving or the holidays. It's a it's a vegan stuffed kabocha squash, which just has the most beautiful presentation because you present it in the squash. Um, and I do for meat lovers, I do say in there, you know, you can stuff it with Italian sausage and kind of get that sort of hearty feeling if you really need it. Um, but I love that one. You can find it. It's right now, it's featured on the homepage of my website, eat somethingsexy.com. So if you need a good vegetarian or not recipe, it's there.

Tamara 12:00

Yeah,

Cookbooks Holiday Recipe And Where To Find

Tamara 12:01

that does sound good. And then is there anything that I should have asked, but I haven't yet.

Amy 12:08

Um wow, let's see. I mean, yeah, I it's really it's a matter of, you know, is your audience more looking to for themselves, or if they're looking more for uh romancing a partner, that my answer to that might be a little bit different.

Tamara 12:25

So I don't know which which they would want more of, but yeah, I mean, uh obviously with dating and sex is the primary thing, and then a lot of relationship stuff more lately, just on how to improve and you know the differences between men and women. So maybe this is like one area where you can smooth it over after you have a misunderstanding you didn't mean to have.

Amy 12:45

Oh, it's definitely it really is.

Romance Works Better When You Listen

Amy 12:48

And you know, you bring up an important point, which is when people ask me, well, what do I plan for a romantic meal? I never want to give out just one meal idea. Um, and that's because you really the most important thing is to consider your partner. It's to consider their tastes and preferences. Um, for example, if I if someone to were to set up a romantic evening for me, if they poured if they pop the cork on a bottle of champagne and serve me a plate of oysters, I would think that was like the most romantic, sexy evening. My husband, on the other hand, can't stand either champagne or oysters. So it would just be a disaster if that was the evening that I planned because it's what I like. Um, so it's really very much about considering the other person's tastes and preferences, and then finding how you can meet in the middle. And I think that that's a nice way just to even just start thinking about compromise as a couple in general by thinking about it through food.

Tamara 13:44

Yeah, definitely. And who doesn't like to eat? Well, I'm sure there's a few maybe, but but yeah, I definitely can see where that would help. And then let's see, I know you talk, well, I guess we kind of shared the um well, I guess on the health side, do you want to talk more like just the importance of like how like people everyone knows like eat well and exercise, but like since you you have both areas or all the areas, like what is the real importance of eating healthy or eating

Eating Well For Energy Confidence And Sex

Tamara 14:16

well?

Amy 14:16

You know, uh to me it's really and this is part of the reason that I I really wanted to do something in a health topic. And then when I found this, I was really excited to find something that that maybe would make people want to eat eat a little better if it's if it gives them the promise that um they might have an improved romantic life. Um, but it is really it's about you know energy, confidence, that comfort in your own skin. When you've when you're eating well, like it shows in your whole body, you know, it's not just about weight or tone. It's about like it's about glow. It's about just that that feeling of health. It's about the dark circle, the dark circles can go away and and you'll sleep better and you'll you'll feel a little more like tackling everything and the confidence that comes with that. And so that's what I love about the health side of it, because yes, you're doing it so that you'll have uh an improved romantic life, but what you're getting from it really, that sort of that glow, that confidence, all of those things that will will infiltrate every part of your life, not just your romantic life.

Tamara 15:22

Yeah, yeah, definitely. And I think it's becoming more mainstream. I used to tell a friend about all this stuff when I was learning to be a health coach, you know, nine, ten years ago. And like now is like more well-known now. Like what you eat really does affect you. Like literally what you put in your body is how you are as a person.

Amy 15:40

And I think people are more aware now on the other side of it, of course, as you mentioned, is the exercise and movement. And we're now more aware that the more you move, the more energy you'll actually have. And because, you know, that's that's a problem a lot of couples have. They get home at the end of their day and they're like, I don't want to be intimate. I don't, I'm, I'm done. But yeah, the more that you move, you're feeding your body the right fuel and you're moving. You you have more energy, you have that energy for the intimacy later.

Final Takeaways And Goodbye

Tamara 16:08

Definitely. And I think that is a good place to leave it and maybe have some final comments, unless there's something I missed that you want to share.

Amy 16:17

No, I this has been great. And I hope that you know your audience gets something to to take away for eating, eating for life and eating for sexual health from that. Yeah.

Tamara 16:28

Awesome. All right. Well, thank you very much. And if you love this episode, be sure to tell your friends about it and rate it as well. And thank you again, Amy, for being on. All right. Thanks, everyone. Bye.

Amy 16:42

Frank talk! Frank Talk dating educates.